Pick your favorite rumor!
Bunny spent ages hiding from the other officials. Who would suspect she was up to…this? She rubbed her hands with glee, changing it into a benign smile as Juppy passed her.
The time was ripe. Oh, how long she had planned, hoped, prayed! She knew she would have to be quick, because people were starting to suspect something. “What’s up with Bunny?” people would say in what they chose to believe was a whisper. “She’s acting all secretive!” Rumours were spreading, but happily Bunny was able to spot them and head them off. Perhaps they would think a new contest was on the way.
Only Bunny knew the truth. She was…spying for Hogwarts Elite!
tangerinesidhe walked through the darkened halls of Hogwarts in the middle of the night, searching for her love, Larry. He was safely stowed in a cupboard on the third floor, out of sight. The likes of him were not accepted at Hogwarts school. Biased ponces, the lot of them. She reached the door to the cupboard and quietly muttered “Alohomora!” Turning the door handle, she heard a curious bleating from within, and looked around the hall nervously. She really hoped no one was around to hear that. Tangerine closed the door tightly at her back, advancing towards Larry, the love of her life. For a goat, he was really rather attractive.
aphrodite__ sighed and glugged the last of her freshly squeezed juice. She knew it was wrong, but it had been so much fun, and hadn't everyone else enjoyed themselves as well? Okay, everyone except...
She smirked as she licked her lips and nudged the Ravenclaw prefect's robes with her foot, remembering the look on her face as aphrodite__ had raised her wand. Poor woman, she'd come over to discuss Plato and barely had time to turn around before... snap! But it was done, and it was too late, and now Gryffindor could march on to win the House Cup without distraction.
Setting the glass down, aphrodite__ rose and smiled again. Who knew Ravenclaws made such good cranberries?
Bunny left the desk and headed toward the mirror. She tapped it three times and stared at herself: eight inches tall, bald head that took up most of her body, green skin. “Jo,” she said. Suddenly another little green thing was facing her.
“The plan is working. I placed another contest on that website to recruit more members. Have you been able to get the publishers to wait another year?”
“Yes, soon we will be able to use these fans as our army to take over Earth and harvest their babies.”
“A brilliant plan and I love the taste of baby in the morning. Have you figured out a way to get me a suit like that one?” Bunny pointed to the human flesh in the corner, a tall blond woman.
“Not yet, we need to first capture someone and then place our equipment inside so they can function under our control. Do you still want that actress, Emmy Rossum?”
“Well, as soon as we can get her to date ‘Jake Gyllenhaal,’” they snickered, “we will be able to acquire her body for you.” Bunny sighed dreamily.
She came in the room and flopped down in front of the computer, blissfully unaware of how the information she found there would give her so very much to hide. It was October 9th, and the September point count for progress toward the house cup was posted. RAVENCLAW! The Eagles had managed to gain a strategically planned and important lead! Once the shock had worn off, she got up, and then sat back down. Her hands were fidgeting and her eyes nervously looking around the room. Though it will be denied and hidden, we all know the truth. A Gryffindor prefect she may be, but tangerinesidhe is afraid.
Kristi sat at her computer, frantically trying to retrieve the files. An error message (Error #4815162342) kept appearing on her computer.
She frantically typed to the chat, “I can’t believe it!” And people fondly and caringly responded with messages like “OMG” and “what’s wrong?” and the occasional “I love Lucas.” Although that last one, not intended for her. But Kristi couldn’t tell them what was wrong. She had spent so many long nights denying the love IC, but out of game her heart reached out for the unspoken bond between the two characters. She had lost her entire collection of Tim/Philip slash, and was devastated.
"So hold on-tell me again what happened again?"
"Okay, here's how it went. I was standing at the movie theatre, and suddenly I hear this scream of 'CRIKEY!' and this girl goes galloping past me. Aussie, by the sound of it. I turn around, and realize that she's pounced Alan Rickman and is currently trying to drag him off, muttering about needing a proper anniversary gift."
"So how'd you manage to protect him?"
"What, you think one of the other fangirls would let her take him? I waited until they knocked each other out, then extricated him."
"So THAT's where you got the quota for the mental ward. I'm telling you Dan-you are the best Crazy Hunter out there. How do you find out their names for the forms though?"
"Check the shirt tag. See, this one here? Says..esso. Return to Sajee if found molesting Alan Rickman."
Bunnies aren't always funny. That was the whispering going around Hogwarts, thoroughly circulated even before the end of breakfast that morning. Bunnies especially weren't funny when they were fake and spelled to jump out from around corners.
It wasn't just the bunnies. Juppy was rushed to the hospital wing after being found in the dungeons, surrounded by a sort of quicksand and flames, and a rabbit of unusual size chewing on her wand. Each of the castle ghosts had hid themselves, after claiming to have heard mumbling from the rabbits all night long. They told a few frightened students before hiding that it had been the rabbits, chanting "As you wish" over and over.
But the bunnies were the most noticeable. They bounced. They thumped their back legs so loudly that even Professor Binns noticed. They were everywhere.
And everyone claimed to know who had done it. She said she was framed, but once the talking started, it couldn't be stopped. Never trust a Gryffindor, they said. Especially not a Gryffindor named Bunny.
For lenabee, it was a day like any other for a good Ravenclaw- read up on next week’s assignments, finish the end-of-term project, gather the firsties for a bit of tutoring. She was so engrossed in Magical Me that she didn’t hear the alien ship land in her front yard. In fact, lenabee didn’t look up until a laser beam hit her forehead and showered her with blue and bronze sparks.
“She is the One,” intoned twelve pint-sized orange creatures.
“That’s nonsensical,” lenabee replied in a rather snippy voice. She found interruptions tiresome. “I do have a multitude of talents, but that is hardly unique in Ravenclaw House.”
“You are the One!” they repeated shrilly, their pointy ears sticking straight out from the sides of their heads. “You must perform the ritual.”
“For Merlin’s sake!” lenabee sighed. “Look,” she said, “if I do this ritual, will you go away?”
“We promise, favored One,” they solemnly intoned.
For the next hour, lenabee served the aliens diet 7-Up while doing the Hokey-Pokey in her Hello Kitty nightgown and slippers.
After they left, she realized that this ritual was only the second weirdest thing she had ever done in those slippers.
Lena and I were passing notes in the library, as usual, gossiping about Pavarti’s new hairstyle and wondering who (or what) was making that awful screeching last night in the dormitory, when Meli rushed up to our table. "I’ve seen that look before, Meli" said Lena. "What’s up?" Meli looked like she was about to pop, so we both looked at her expectantly; nothing gets her this excited but some extra-good gossip, but she likes to prolong the moment as long as possible.
"Wellllllll…." She said the word dramatically, as if savouring it, and Lena rolled her eyes. "I just saw Shayukoooo…" she continued slowly.
"Out with it!" exclaimed Lena.
"OK, OK! I just saw Sayuko with Mrs Norris. And they were in the bathroom. And Sayuko was dying her pink."
I interrupted. "Meli. SAYUKO, a HUFFLEPUFF, one of the nicest of the nice, went crazy, STOLE Mrs Norris and dyed her pink? You know that is a bit difficult to believe, right?"
Meli looked me dead in the eye and said it was the truth.
And that is just the way it happened, Professor, I swear I don’t know anything else about it!
There are some things that are best left unknown, or unseen.
Especially things that are furry and red. Especially such red things that aren’t a Weasley, because Weasleys are always an exception.
Despite this, Kristi still had her goon crouched over the cardboard box containing a crucified minute creature, arms splayed back and legs strapped down. With a cackle, the flick of a knife, and the snip of scissors, Kristi was made gleeful and proud.
Yes, some things were best left unknown, one would have thought to themselves.
She stood, and made the goon stand back, before she took the creature from its box and set it down. This one looked to be significantly strong. He was set on the outer line, just like the Battle of Marathon- after all, there were some things which could be learned from the Greeks.
She first activated the front line, fingers splaying across hairy chests, and flittering about. Then the second. The third. Her own laughter was soon joined by thousands of small, scarlet beings.
This would be an army never seen before!
Yes, there were definately some things best left unseen.
You don't say!